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” O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint,-”
[02:183]
“Why?”
“Why?”
I repeated her question, tasted it, smelled it, gazed at it. Why sounds, tastes and smells like most single-syllable words; prosaic. Yet, Why is the key to all understanding, the step over the threshold between ignorance and enlightenment. I look intently at my professor and swallow the long paragraph I am about to serve her. She wont buy it. She wont comprehend the fact that I’d cross the Sahara for my Lord, if He so requested. She is bound by the earthly ropes of rationality and scientisism.
“To prove that I am the mistress of my body”
She seems dumbstruck, desperatly trying to analyze my uttered sentence, but alas, her face is an eternal question mark.
“To prove that my will is stronger than my desires, my longing for the everlasting defeats my material needs, my overwhelming love for the One is satisfactory for both my soul and my stomach”
“Does your Lord ask you to fast for Him, in other words starve for Him?”
“Yes, we must fight for His attention, just as we must fight for yours, in your mathclass”.
She smiles, and leaves me to finish my problem.
As one can see, given that one isn’t blind, I’ve deleted all my previous posts. I also took the liberty of deleting your comments, my sincerest apologies. I’ve been away for a while, and that’s not due to laziness. Lately, I’ve been pondering over this blog, the path it has taken and its purpose. My pondering led me to the conclusion that this blog isn’t me. I suppose it was just a sequel to my previous blogspot-blog. But as we all know, sequels are merely shadows of what was. Dwelling over the past, is not nostalgic, it’s pathetic and depressing.
I’m not who I were last year. I’m not being melodramatic, really, I think I’ve changed even though this blog has stayed the same. One could suggest that I could form my posts after my new self, but it isn’t that easy. I don’t know, there was a voice inside of me that cried for change. And change I did.
Bare with me. Bare with a kid who’s going through several personal crisis’ and trying to find the role she plays in the real world and the blogsphere. To quote one of my favourite authors; symbols guide us to the roles we play. I need to find those symbols.
Ramadan Kareem!
