Comments on: 18 and marriage material http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/ Fri, 11 Dec 2009 22:11:50 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Nuura http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-517 Nuura Fri, 19 Sep 2008 06:46:09 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-517 Dear sis, I feel ya, but how about hormones and pressures from a culture crammed with everything sexual. I never thought I would be one advocating for early marriages, but since young women living in the west are bombarded with having sex very quickly( if I may be so blunt) wouldn’t blessing marriage at young age be a blessing especially if we look at it from a diin perspective. But if you are a strong young woman who isn’t prone to cultural pressures then wait until the time is right for you. But I know many young people are involved in activities contrary to our diin and therefore to make that less likely I for one would advocate for early marriages with the support of family! On the other hand I tired of seeing seventeen and eighteen year olds who are rushed to marriage for the reasons I have mentioned earlier, and then divorce before the baby is even born. Between a rock and hard place I assume! Peace to the people ya all! Nuura Dear sis, I feel ya, but how about hormones and pressures from a culture crammed with everything sexual. I never thought I would be one advocating for early marriages, but since young women living in the west are bombarded with having sex very quickly( if I may be so blunt) wouldn’t blessing marriage at young age be a blessing especially if we look at it from a diin perspective. But if you are a strong young woman who isn’t prone to cultural pressures then wait until the time is right for you. But I know many young people are involved in activities contrary to our diin and therefore to make that less likely I for one would advocate for early marriages with the support of family!
On the other hand I tired of seeing seventeen and eighteen year olds who are rushed to marriage for the reasons I have mentioned earlier, and then divorce before the baby is even born. Between a rock and hard place I assume!

Peace to the people ya all!

Nuura

]]> By: tchd http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-516 tchd Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:10:15 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-516 ameen: wa alaikuma salaam, ramadan karim and welcome to my humble blog! Why speed up the process, why not let the maturity develop in its natural pace, isn't that healthier? I am not married, and perhaps I am having a much too critical, outsider-perspective on the issue. Dunno, my opinion is based on what I have observed with married young sister. And my observations are fit for a new entry! ameen:
wa alaikuma salaam, ramadan karim and welcome to my humble blog!

Why speed up the process, why not let the maturity develop in its natural pace, isn’t that healthier?

I am not married, and perhaps I am having a much too critical, outsider-perspective on the issue. Dunno, my opinion is based on what I have observed with married young sister.

And my observations are fit for a new entry!

]]> By: tchd http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-515 tchd Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:58:55 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-515 Pretty & Tito: I am talking about the average 18 year old whom I believe is still too young to get married. I think that the masjid and the somali culture romantizes marriage. There are a gazillion benefits, islamically and culturally, with getting married but there are gazillion+++ duties and responsibilities too. And not to forget the rights of your spouse that you need to uphold. Are you really ready for that at such age? It's not enough to "want to" get married, you must be able to get married. If any thing, to bring forth a child into a healthy millieu. Idil: Agreed! LOL...tahrib extraordinaire.. Generally though, religious somalis are those who endorse marriage at a young age. They have very noble intentions, save the youth from fitnah and falling into the temptation of a premarrital affair. However, I feel that the shuyukh should present an alternative path, the path of self-restraint. How do we cope with raging hormones without getting married? Pretty & Tito:
I am talking about the average 18 year old whom I believe is still too young to get married. I think that the masjid and the somali culture romantizes marriage. There are a gazillion benefits, islamically and culturally, with getting married but there are gazillion+++ duties and responsibilities too. And not to forget the rights of your spouse that you need to uphold. Are you really ready for that at such age?

It’s not enough to “want to” get married, you must be able to get married. If any thing, to bring forth a child into a healthy millieu.

Idil:
Agreed! LOL…tahrib extraordinaire..

Generally though, religious somalis are those who endorse marriage at a young age. They have very noble intentions, save the youth from fitnah and falling into the temptation of a premarrital affair. However, I feel that the shuyukh should present an alternative path, the path of self-restraint. How do we cope with raging hormones without getting married?

]]> By: tchd http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-514 tchd Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:45:23 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-514 Aya: Indeed, I think that you really need to know the person you're getting married to. Not in a sense that you have to get intimate, rather to understand his charactertype and whether your two personalities are compatible. PERSONALLY I feel that it requires a level of maturity and experience that an 18 year old simply doesn't posess. A cause for many divorces is basic misunderstanding that originates from two people who attempt to start a family without really knowing eachother. Cigaal: LOL! Arrintaas meel iska dhig saxiib, if I'm going to marry I'm going to "xambaar" some distant relative from Somalia. The difference between cohabiting and marrying is that you have marrital duties and the responsibility of keeping the marriage up (unless you don't mind ending up as yet another number in the divorce statics). By all means, I do not endorse cohabiting outside marriage (subhanallah!), but it sure does have its perks. You'll have a deeper understanding of who you are and what sort of person you're compatible with. Since this practice is clearly forbidden in Islam, you need to be very careful when you choose a spouse. Aya:
Indeed, I think that you really need to know the person you’re getting married to. Not in a sense that you have to get intimate, rather to understand his charactertype and whether your two personalities are compatible. PERSONALLY I feel that it requires a level of maturity and experience that an 18 year old simply doesn’t posess.

A cause for many divorces is basic misunderstanding that originates from two people who attempt to start a family without really knowing eachother.

Cigaal:
LOL!
Arrintaas meel iska dhig saxiib, if I’m going to marry I’m going to “xambaar” some distant relative from Somalia.

The difference between cohabiting and marrying is that you have marrital duties and the responsibility of keeping the marriage up (unless you don’t mind ending up as yet another number in the divorce statics). By all means, I do not endorse cohabiting outside marriage (subhanallah!), but it sure does have its perks. You’ll have a deeper understanding of who you are and what sort of person you’re compatible with. Since this practice is clearly forbidden in Islam, you need to be very careful when you choose a spouse.

]]> By: brotherameen http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-513 brotherameen Fri, 05 Sep 2008 07:16:18 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-513 Salams and Ramadan Mubarak... Interesting post and since I have a minute or two to comment on this post, after all, its Ramadan and I should really make the best use of my time, but being a man, I needed a slight break so while surfing the web, I fell onto your blog and inparticular, this post. What can I say other then...hmmmm..I really didnt realize 18 = marriage material (and here I was thinking that 21 [give or take a year] was the ideal age for a sista but I guess I was wrong? Maybe? Perhaps I was) but on the real though, maturity is vital and very important in bringing about success to any relationship BUT some will argue, marriage forces an individual to mature much quicker then any other experience he or she may experience because the reality of marriage life is different than what you or I, (assuming your not married) would assume it to be. But I've written so MUCH about "the marriage fever" on my blog, some say its because I myself, am suffering from the fever but I beg to differ and with that last comment (boy, look at the time...) my time is up, and as a departing gift to you and all of your readers, a dou'aa straight from the heart; may Allah have mercy on you and bless you with the best of this world and the next (aameen Ya'Rabb, aameen) Salams and Ramadan Mubarak…

Interesting post and since I have a minute or two to comment on this post, after all, its Ramadan and I should really make the best use of my time, but being a man, I needed a slight break so while surfing the web, I fell onto your blog and inparticular, this post. What can I say other then…hmmmm..I really didnt realize 18 = marriage material (and here I was thinking that 21 [give or take a year] was the ideal age for a sista but I guess I was wrong? Maybe? Perhaps I was) but on the real though, maturity is vital and very important in bringing about success to any relationship BUT some will argue, marriage forces an individual to mature much quicker then any other experience he or she may experience because the reality of marriage life is different than what you or I, (assuming your not married) would assume it to be.

But I’ve written so MUCH about “the marriage fever” on my blog, some say its because I myself, am suffering from the fever but I beg to differ and with that last comment (boy, look at the time…) my time is up, and as a departing gift to you and all of your readers, a dou’aa straight from the heart; may Allah have mercy on you and bless you with the best of this world and the next (aameen Ya’Rabb, aameen)

]]> By: idil http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-512 idil Tue, 02 Sep 2008 06:06:38 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-512 lool i so feel u!! how many hints and suggestions i get...i dont think i can even set foot in somalia i have hungry uncles who are trying to get me married of...but it seems like the "wadaads" in my family are the ones trying to get me hitched lol lool i so feel u!!

how many hints and suggestions i get…i dont think i can even set foot in somalia i have hungry uncles who are trying to get me married of…but it seems like the “wadaads” in my family are the ones trying to get me hitched lol

]]> By: Citizen Tito http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-511 Citizen Tito Sun, 24 Aug 2008 15:42:27 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-511 Amen to that bruv.Ain't nothing more beautiful than a Halal marriage and that alone just makes things awesome. Abaayadis,18 is not a marriage material.18 is just 18,another number and nothing more or less than the mere number it is.However,18 not being a marriage material doesn't mean she is not a woman enough for Marriage.U might be shocked to see 17 year olds who want to get married and it just don't stop there.Marka,i think its all about whatever rocks the person's boat.Personally,young and married means to me nothing but a wise choice. P.s.I have seen with my own eyes,a young girl who married an old dude.(her choice and hers alone) :) Amen to that bruv.Ain’t nothing more beautiful than a Halal marriage and that alone just makes things awesome.

Abaayadis,18 is not a marriage material.18 is just 18,another number and nothing more or less than the mere number it is.However,18 not being a marriage material doesn’t mean she is not a woman enough for Marriage.U might be shocked to see 17 year olds who want to get married and it just don’t stop there.Marka,i think its all about whatever rocks the person’s boat.Personally,young and married means to me nothing but a wise choice.

P.s.I have seen with my own eyes,a young girl who married an old dude.(her choice and hers alone)

:)

]]> By: cigaal http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-505 cigaal Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:23:14 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-505 lille venn, I know a nice young man just for you LOL. You know practice makes perfect, and early bird.... You can both go to school together, and he may even carry your lunch pack sometimes. You could share the exorbitant apartment rents in this city. When both of you graduate, your little girl/boy will also be on the fast lane in life. Actually, it's not unusual for young couples to cohabit while going to school in this country. It is quite common. But since we're muslim we bless it. And may Allah bless all marriage. lille venn, I know a nice young man just for you LOL. You know practice makes perfect, and early bird…. You can both go to school together, and he may even carry your lunch pack sometimes. You could share the exorbitant apartment rents in this city. When both of you graduate, your little girl/boy will also be on the fast lane in life.
Actually, it’s not unusual for young couples to cohabit while going to school in this country. It is quite common. But since we’re muslim we bless it. And may Allah bless all marriage.

]]> By: prettydorky http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-504 prettydorky Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:00:58 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-504 18 years of age means different things to people. for one person a 18 yr old can have the maturity level of a 10 year old or the exact opposite. a good friend of mine got married when she was 14! the way she conducts herself, however, has always been a few steps a head of all of us. 18 years of age means different things to people. for one person a 18 yr old can have the maturity level of a 10 year old or the exact opposite.

a good friend of mine got married when she was 14! the way she conducts herself, however, has always been a few steps a head of all of us.

]]> By: Aya http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/18-and-marriage-material/#comment-502 Aya Sun, 10 Aug 2008 19:50:45 +0000 http://acamelherdersdaughter.wordpress.com/?p=66#comment-502 Younger marriages tend to have the greatest divorce rates. There really is a dire need for maturity, and unfortunately, they only come with time. Younger marriages tend to have the greatest divorce rates. There really is a dire need for maturity, and unfortunately, they only come with time.

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