Fanatics

Where is the fine line between patriotism and racism. Is it even a line, perhaps it’s a gray swamp inbetween, a diffuse land owned by none? Sometimes the -isms surprise me. It is incredibly easy to cross one -ism and move into another.  Normally, a shift of -ism also leads to a change in lifestyle. From conservatism to liberalism, moderatism to radicalism, patriotism to racism.

I see, in the Somali communities around me, Somalis leaving the patriotist-wagon and slowly, almost soundlessly, moving into the racist-cave.

“Free Somalia from oppressers!”- Immediately changes to – “Fuck Ethiopia, may the tigray burn in hell!”

Infact, around here, things have taken a horrible turn. A couple of weeks ago a group of women went to the local masjid. They brought with them a young, ill, girl. Coincidentally, the women were of the same tribe as the current president of Somalia. The women asked the people, especially the shuyukh, whether they could recite Qur’aan on the sick girl.

“We do not recite Qur’aan on Tigray”

Just because a fellow tribesman cooperates with the Ethiopian army.  What if the woman had been a tigray, would they have turned down, first and foremost, a muslim in need?

It is the end of the world, especially when the masjid turns racist.

The Human Being

O mankind! If you are in doubt about the Resurrection, then verily! We have created you (i.e. Adam) from dust

then from a Nutfah (mixed drops of male and female sexual discharge i.e. offspring of Adam)

…then from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood)

……then from a little lump of flesh,— some formed and some unformed (as in the case of miscarriage)

(…) And We cause whom We will to remain in the wombs for an appointed term

then We bring you out as infants

…then (give you growth) that you may reach your age of full strength

…And among you there is he who dies (young)

….and among you there is he who is brought back to the miserable old age, so that he knows nothing after having known

And you see the earth barren

….but when We send down water (rain) on it, it is stirred (to life)

….it swells and puts forth every lovely kind (of growth)

Untitled 01

2008 is just around the corner, and it feels like yesterday when I wished 2007 welcome. Well, ‘yesterday’ is a bit exaggerated, but it is too soon to ring in 2008. I realize, of course, that I sound like my mother. A woman, I love, but who constantly complains about how time moves so fast.

“Oh, it seems like yesterday when I fed you and changed your diapers!”

I do not know whether I am starting to comprehend the concept of time at this age, and thus, I am feeling as if time is moving too fast. Maybe I never observed the velocity of time when I was younger. But what if time is moving fast, compared to the 90s. Does time accelerate?

These are the times when I wish I had read up on Einstein.

A very belated Eid Mubarak fellow, muslim and non-muslim, bloggers. I have been quite preoccupied with midterms and such. Christmas break is supposed to be fourteen days of blowing off steam. I have yet to blow off steam. Infact, worries over what the new year will bring are already twirling around my mind. Alas, I have become one of the square, old people I dreaded so much. The people who forget to live happily in the present, because they fear what the future may bring.

This post is growing to become a dark entry. I’ll stop here.

Maybe abnormality is a true sign of being normal?

Frankly, I am a pretty straight girl who is not going through any sort of teenage rebellion. I do not  fight the norms of the society, and that has nothing to do with cowardice, but a genuine belief in that rebellion is unnecessary. If one chooses to be very blunt, one could characterize me as a typical “angel” or a “teacher’s pet”. I’m Martin from the Simpsons, minus the butt-kissing of course. I do not kiss butt. I do not kiss any bodypart inorder to achieve a goal or profit.

I am boring, that’s an undisputed truth. Nonetheless, there are minor things that I do which are not very conventional. For instance; I rarely wear a pair of socks that are identical. On a happy day, I would wear a red sock and a green sock. I find comfort in chaos. When reading a novel, I picture myself being the protagonist. Indeed, I have walked around in the streets of st. Petersburg calling myself Rashkalnikov, I have passionately kissed mr. Rochester, I have solved mysteries with Sherlock Holmes and I have defintely taken a tour around the world, in merely 80 days. I don’t wear make up. I am a tree hugger.

Unconventional, unorthodox, absurd, surreal or plain normal. You tell me?

Eid Mubarak

Ladies, gentlemen, sons, daughters, herders and camels. I wish you a very big Eid Mubarak, and I’m way too tired to write a recap of my day. That must wait till tomorrow. Those of you who have yet to end their Eid, have a joyous and pleasant one!

The Ramadan Chronicles: Suhur

 I don’t wake up for suhur, the pre-sunrise-breakfast. I simply can’t eat, after interrupting my precious sleep and knowing that the little arrow stands firmly on four, while the long one rests on twelwe. I can’t eat that early.

So, I sleep away the hunger, wake up early and leave for school, satisfied and fresh. Then the hunger hits me, at approximately 1230. Bam. Of course, if I’d just woken up and forced myself to eat, this wouldn’t happen. But do I learn from my mistakes? Of course not. Sleep is more precious than food you must eat to prevent later starvation.

The worst hungerstrike hits me while cooking iftar. While baking the pastries, adding more salt to the delicious meat dishes, fantastic beans, baked potatoes, empanadas, samosas and pancakes. Mmmm. So close, but oh so far away.

Lesson for next ramadan? Wake up for suhur!

The Ramadan Chronicles: Lailatul Qadr

 

                                                

“Truly We sent it down on the Night of Power. And what will convey to you what the Night of Power is? The Night of Power is better than a thousand months. In it the angels and the Spirit descend by their Lord’s authority with every ordinance. It is Peace – until the coming of the dawn.”

Lailatul Qadr; the night of power. The night our, highly praised, Lord revealed his first messages to our highly beloved prophet. Lailatul Qadr; the night in which your previous sins will be forgiven, if, and only if, you stand with humility in front of your Lord and seek His mercy and compassion.

Lailatul Qadr; The holiest night in the holiest month. Where do you spend it? How do you spend it?

With your nose slightly touching the prayer rug, every muscles of your body tense because of the peculiar position. Like a disobedient child before his parent?  A child whose tears are moving towards the floor, each tear depicting an assault on the mercy of his parent. But his parent is not hateful, not judgemental, not strict. His mother will spread her arms and hold her child tightly against her bossom. Forgiving.

If the child shows remorse. If the child stands, even though his feet are aching, in prayer, each night, for the last ten days of Ramadan. Embrace the angels He sends for you, embrace His love, embrace Him! How?

It is related from ‘A’isha that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Look for the Night of Power on the odd nights of the last ten days of Ramadan.” [hadeeth nr. 1913, book of Tarawih prayers, Sahih Bukhari]

It is related from Abu Hurayra that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who fasts in Ramadan motivated by belief and in anticipation of the reward will be forgiven his past wrong actions. Anyone who spends the Night of Power in prayer motivated by belief and in anticipation of the reward will be forgiven his past wrong actions.” [hadeeth nr. 1910, book of tarawih prayers, sahih Bukhari]

The Ramadan Chronicles: The Why

” O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint,-”

[02:183] 

“Why?”

“Why?”

I repeated her question, tasted it, smelled it, gazed at it. Why sounds, tastes and smells like most single-syllable words; prosaic. Yet, Why is the key to all understanding, the step over the threshold between ignorance and enlightenment. I look intently at my  professor and swallow the long paragraph I am about to serve her. She wont buy it. She wont comprehend the fact that I’d cross the Sahara for my Lord, if He so requested. She is bound by the earthly ropes of rationality and scientisism.

“To prove that I am the mistress of my body”

She seems dumbstruck, desperatly trying to analyze my uttered sentence, but alas, her face is an eternal question mark.

“To prove that my will is stronger than my desires, my longing for the everlasting defeats my material needs, my overwhelming love for the One is satisfactory for both my soul and my stomach”

“Does your Lord ask you to fast for Him, in other words starve for Him?”

“Yes, we must fight for His attention, just as we must fight for yours, in your  mathclass”.

She smiles, and leaves me to finish my problem.

Crossroads

As one can see, given that one isn’t blind, I’ve deleted all my previous posts. I also took the liberty of deleting your comments, my sincerest apologies. I’ve been away for a while, and that’s not due to laziness. Lately, I’ve been pondering over this blog, the path it has taken and its purpose. My pondering led me to the conclusion that this blog isn’t me. I suppose it was just a sequel to my previous blogspot-blog. But as we all know, sequels are merely shadows of what was. Dwelling over the past, is not nostalgic, it’s pathetic and depressing.

I’m not who I were last year. I’m not being melodramatic, really, I think I’ve changed even though this blog  has stayed the same. One could suggest that I could form my posts after my new self, but it isn’t that easy. I don’t know, there was a voice inside of me that cried for change. And change I did.

Bare with me. Bare with a kid who’s going through several personal crisis’ and trying to find the role she plays in the real world and the blogsphere. To quote one of my favourite authors; symbols guide us to the roles we play. I need to find those symbols.

Ramadan Kareem!